Routine gets talked about a lot in mental health spaces. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it turns into another thing to fail at. This post is a gentler way of thinking about it.
Routine is a support, not a standard
The point of a routine is to take some of the daily decisions off your plate when your energy is low. It is not there to prove you are functioning. If a routine is making a hard day harder, the routine is the problem, not you.
Start smaller than feels reasonable
On a hard day, “small” is smaller than you think. Not a morning routine. Not even a shower. Sometimes it is:
- Sitting up
- Drinking water
- Opening the window
- Changing into clean clothes, even the same kind
- Eating something, anything, even if it is not a meal
Each of these is a full step. Not a warm-up to a real step.
Anchors, not schedules
Instead of a strict schedule, try three anchors:
- Something in the morning that says the day has started
- Something in the middle that says you are still in it
- Something in the evening that says the day is winding down
They can be tiny. A cup of tea. Stepping outside for two minutes. Turning off overhead lights. The point is the rhythm, not the achievement.
Let hard days count
If you managed one small thing on a hard day, that day counts. Streaks and perfect weeks are not the goal. Being kinder to yourself than the day is being to you is the goal.
When to reach out
Reach out to your treating team, coach or supports if:
- Hard days are stringing together with no lift
- Basics like eating, sleeping or safety are slipping
- You are having thoughts you would not usually have
- You are not sure, and that not-sure feeling has stayed a while
You do not have to be in crisis to ask for support.